As my birthday is round the corner, I got an email from my employer - "Birthday rewards". Excitedly, I opened the email and went through all of it rather in a jiffy. Re-read it twice and thrice to grasp the better of it. It mentioned how I can claim a certain 3 digit amount and credit to my payroll, or if my kindness kicks in, then donate it to an NGO partnered with my company. Now this was the test of my conscience. Gift is a gift, no matter how old we are. Who doesn’t await a gift - whether it comes from your employer, spouse or friends. But at the same time, its a test of one's inner conscience. Will 3 digit amount add any value to my self worth or can add value to charities & trusts that thrive majorly on regular contributions. I was reminded of the sad faces that knocked at our doors during Covid days - ones struggling to make ends meet at charitable institutions such as orphanages, old age homes, etc. The pandemic days were alone terrible in every sense to common men. Many families got wiped off by the dreadful virus. Some were left orphaned, some childless, some homeless, many job less. So, now the question boiled down to my integrity amid all these flashbacks. Alas after several clicks, finally donated the amount. Sigh! Was it so hard after all?
Could not help but notice the amount contributed would be taxed. We are fifth largest economy in the world, yet we contribute so much to tax. The tax that we pay is only documented as and when it is deducted from our account on basis of income, interests on sources, other income, etc. But no longer accounted when it is credited to government. In first world nations, citizens get proper facilities, good roads, safety and security, police patrol vehicles, emergency helpline at service, hospitals within reach, clean water, proper sewage treatment, clean environment , ambulances & fire engines within 5 minutes of smoke detected. In India, we pay GST on every item purchased, food & commodities, service tax and GST in restaurants, and on every service availed (including petrol pumps). We also pay tax on income, house owned, cars purchased. There's tax levied on everything - water , electricity, food, petrol, etc. In exchange we don’t even have safety, security, clean air or water as in the first world nations. Remember how smoggy it is in Delhi? Many ex-NRIs have spoken at length why they preferred to return back to India - because they value parents more than money, prefer relations over loneliness. But one thing they truly miss is the way of life people living abroad truly cherish. The places that are accentuated by discipline, queue, safety, security, cleanliness, that makes it look and feel heavenly. Can we have all of that in the most populous country that is ruled by corruption? Not in near future. Various people have varying opinions, but that wont change the face of reality by any degree better than what it is currently. It has been truly said either adapt to the change or change the situation. People are more likely to adapt than change situation, as they seem to think its not easy. We need more optimists who can change the wave and place our country at least among the second world countries.
As a child we were always eager to grow up, as an adult we regret the world we grew up in. We somehow want to make the place great for the next gen. I used to spend sleepless nights a month away from my birthday. Staying wide awake bundled away in my blanket planning how to spend the day - imagining striding into the class in pretty frock, hairs tied in ribbons, white socks & glittering sandals, clutching packet of éclairs, deciding on number of chocolates to gift close friends, deciding which big bar to buy for the favorite teachers, nights used to turn into days but planning would never end, was never really enough, until my mom threatened to thrash me to sleep. As we age, all these memories keep bubbling up. As young, we had bright ideas how to spend our birthday, though majority of it included giving away chocolates, giving away sweets & snacks, organizing small celebration in presence of family and friends, our happiness radiated from within. By the end of the day, it did not matter what we received, it was more about the joy of sharing.
As we grow, we reflect on what we get rather than what we give away. On some days we donate to charity, some days we act self centered. We try to protect ourselves by creating a envelope around us, from the very people with whom we used to enjoy sharing. The celebrations of late have become very nuclear affair. School kids are seen continuing the ritual of spending the day with friends and families. Grown ups just cut themselves away from everyone and sulk in the memories of the past - the good old days. We no longer feel the joy we used to have as a kid. We sometimes don’t realize importance of our own birthdays, we don’t stop and ponder over all of it. We just straddle along the path of life working hard each day to live the lifestyle we all dreamed about; sometimes wondering what even is joy.
As a pre-unv student I used to have very limited pocket money, most of which used to get over merely traveling to and fro college on bus. One way used to cost ~2 rs as subsidized rate for students. I used to keep just 6 rs handy with me. One day a girl who got on the bus with me she came to me tensed and requested if i had an extra 2 rs. She used to get down in the stop next to mine. I felt the extra 2 rs in my pocket and denied having extra money. Deep within my conscious wanted to help, but was worried what if she did not return my money later as she was a stranger. I had very few friends and had not yet learnt the art of sharing/ helping people. My social skills were 1 on a scale of 10, also being an introvert. That girl had tears in her eyes, not knowing what to do. She stood silently not knowing what to tell the conductor. An aged man asked her what the matter was, when she told she had no money, he stacked all the coins on his palm.. and asked her to pick as many as she wanted. She thankfully picked 2rupees and promised to pay him back. The man was poor, but he was very helpful. I stood there ashamed, still clutching on to my extra 2 rupees in my pocket.
Second incident was when I was waiting in a queue for the Food truck in United states. I was busy reading the menu and mentally calculating what to buy as the food quantities were usually wholesome, but being a foodie I always wanted to try at least 2 items from the menu and later would beg my husband to help me finish them. A heavily pregnant Asian woman got down from a van, that was driven by a man in black jacket. He warned the woman against getting down from the vehicle, she did so in defiance. She came to the queue and begged every person to help her buy 1 item as she was hungry and she was carrying. The man in jacket looked out in doubt. Suddenly she came to me and begged - madam pls am hungry.. can u please buy me some food. My husband looked at me asking if he should help. I denied in self doubt. Many questions arised - who is she, what if she ran away with my wallet, what if the guy in the car shot us, what if.... And she left the spot crying. Every onlooker stared at them, nobody helped. For the history, few days back my husband had helped an old lady who begged from her car window saying she had no money for the petrol near Milpitas mall. And next day we spotted her in Costco driving through parkway pleading me again for money for the petrol.
Several days after that we spotted her in adjoining areas begging for money for petrol. We lost trust on people. Once a homeless guy waylaid my husband in parking lot and pleaded for food. My husband took him to nearby grocery store bought bread, noodles for the guy who thanked and left. So it was always a real challenge to know who is genuine and who is not at the crux of the moment. But what if the lady's struggle was real, is what bothered me at times and made me regret even many days later.
After many such regret filled incidents, I realized - when in doubt just help. I do not regret helping the old woman who hoodwinked everyone in the neighborhood for petrol because she opened my eyes to be aware of such cheats. But I do regret not helping few who may have needed my help.
We all have our own eye opener moments, and we end up with regrets and lessons in life. The only way to grow is to embrace those lessons and be kinder every year than the previous one. We are all learning as we are aging. And there goes the famous expression - Aging like a fine wine! Time to ponder - are we?
It isn’t the first step on Moon that was a giant leap for Mankind, rather a small step in Humanity that can prove to be a giant leap for Mankind and the generations yet to come.
